Loneliness: The gateway to knowing who you are
We all have to dip into our deeper self. It's inevitable. A time will come when you choose to leave it all behind. The noise, the sound of the machine of life, the world of tick-tock. So, interesting that there is an app called, tick-tock, meaning the linear world.
When we enter into a state of loneliness, we walk away, or we feel rejected, dejected or dismissed from the more popular world of whatever is dominating the culture, in the moment that it is dominated.
Perhaps you are a person that I call the fringe dweller. You do best on the rim of life, never down in the center where it'a all happening. Because, if you were in the center where it's all happening, it would consume you, eat you live. Somehow, you know you are not cut from that cloth.
Perhaps you try a time or two, perhaps you take a job, a job in which the culture doesn't seem harmful, it doesn't seem healthy, but no harm, no foul. Eventually, the gossip, the superficial pretenses get to you, and then you feel like you are over there, and everyone else is here.
This is the preparation stage, the point in which you know the laws that govern the environment, be it, family, work, or a loving relationship, in which you have to break out and go alone.
The departure from that world, as uncomfortable as it may be, is still a challenge to walk away from, yet you know you can't stay. Too much has changed within you.
Loneliness is the bridge fo transformation
It is the essential stage fo going deeply inward.
There are many who choose to skip this step, perhaps many supporters already exist in life, but most of the time they don't exist. There will be a time for many in which you may feel there is no one to talk too, no one who understands you, no one that dan guide you, or even feel as you do.
You must encounter it alone. It could be days, weeks, or in some cases years of solitary inventory, a time in which you must see what and who you really are. You learn that you are carved from ancient stone, and that the loneliness you feel is not new. You can tell it dwelled within you before.
This is not new. Most of us who go through the steps of transformation, must peel the layers, go deeper, go in, commit to, and let go of, the life we knew, to the life we inherently know.
It doesn't have to be painful, suffering, or some ancient cave doesn't have to call you. Loneliness, can fee like a drifting, or even a moment that you feel a deep embrace for yourself, sitting next to a rock, within a grove of trees, or at a campfire, or walking a snowy path.
Let it help you, let it be your friend.
I encounter within my counseling practice many individuals who fear being alone, not in a relationship, not connected to sources of friendship or community. Often, however, the current relationships in one's life may not feel fulfilling, and in many cases are actually detracting one from their path of exploration.
It is something to assess and listen to. It is also a great tool to ask, "how is this relationship serving my higher good?", and, "in what ways am I serving the highest and best of another?"
You may find that many of your relationships are stagnant, non-moving, or highly upsetting and full of conflict. Either way, it is only an expression of you with another. The journey of loneliness is to ultimately encounter the self, the. self that cannot hide.
I also see so many children and teens already in the habit of distraction, such as being on devices all day and half the night, or already at the age of 12 or so, obsessed with having a dating partner, fearing that they too will be alone.
Loneliness can be a pilgrimage, such as a long walk from dawn to dusk, a vision quest, an overnight journey of going into the dark, or it can be sitting in observation of a rock or plant or animal for an hour. It's an invitation inward.
Given our recent catalyst of a small scale pandemic, we have within us, a time and space to evaluate our lives. What is really working for you? When you stop and pause, what feels off to you? How can you on this path of getting to know yourself, offer up something different, stronger, or with more passion than you did before.
Loneliness, has been an amazing catalyst in healing and in transformation for me. It's taught me so much what and with whom I have created attachments or false narratives based on survival energy patterns. Survival energy patterns have to do with following our instincts, being true to our nature, being in alignment with our source energy, knowing where you are making compromises that don't feel good to you, recognizing ancestral patterns in beliefs that you keep playing, falling into a victim stance, understanding your full power and where and with whom you give it away.
Were it not for the contemplative time of loneliness, and many time these occur on solitary runs, 5 hours in duration, I would not have come to amazing understandings of the world, why I'm here, and my main purposes of which I am serving.
Delve in, take time, be in the her and now with loneliness