Finding you
I thought the earth remembered me,
she took me back so tenderly,
arranging her dark skirts, her pockets
full of lichens and seeds.
I slept as never before, a stone on the river bed,
nothing between me and the white fire of the stars
but my thoughts, and they floated light as moths
among the branches of the perfect trees.
All night I heard the small kingdoms
breathing around me, the insects,
and the birds who do their work in the darkness.
All night I rose and fell, as if in water,
grappling with a luminous doom. By morning
I had vanished at least a dozen times
into something better.
from Sleeping In The Forest by Mary Oliver
© Mary Oliver
We forget ourselves often, don't we? Between drifting off to a sleep filled night, or upon an early wakening, sometimes between the hues of the morning sun, or the way the moon drapes across our room, we remember. There is a slight, fragrant sense or feeling that there is something beyond the scope of the routine day. there is something quite out of range, yet, so close we can feel it, sense it and even dream of it. What is it?
It's the you, you have been looking for. The you that has gleaned the wisdom of experiences, a you that yearns for even greater, more expansive experiences to continue to tell you who you are. Remember the you that didn't fear conflict or contrast? The you that said yes to every adventure no matter how foolish it seemed?
When did you start altering your genuine, soul self to meet the demands of others? Maybe it wasn't a conscious choice, or maybe it was, but there is a part of you that left the you that you remember back on a road from yesterday. It is not to say that it takes great courage to shift your energy to what you might sense has greater priority, like caring for a family, compromising your principles for a job. It's not that you are ever judged for the decisions you make to make it in this world. We all do what we deem necessary.
I'm talking about staying connected to the source of life. And in this source of life, you are one. When we understand this without analysis, we just know, then the more expansive journey begins on releasing and manifesting who you truly are. It requires constant alignment, constant knowing how you feel and think, it's the part of you that doesn't "need" from others. It's the you that completely loves without expecting something to come back.
When I look at my animals, my children, or wonderful addition, our little Emilene, I don't think about what I don't have, wish I had, or will never have. I don't feel incomplete, lack, or need to control or manipulate my environment , or another, I just see a beautiful being of love, in her completeness. She has no concept of lack.
As Mary Oliver states, we vanish into something better. Your calling as an individual, and as a member of the far reaching collective requires you to consistently drop your routines, your ego-self, and your life as you know it, to join something greater in you. You have come here to place a stamp on this material world, a stamp of your uniqueness, originality, yet at the same time, your human compassion, deep understanding and expansive love fo creation itself.
These are the remembrances that we can easily forget in our day to day existence. Finding you requires dropping the veil of the heavier densities that you are swimming in. It is no easy task. In fact it's the hardest thing that's asked of us. To stop the material world from encroaching upon your higher self, one's over-riding program beyond the ego, well, it's taken life times for us to remember this.
As you are deeply aware, we can drift off into a zombie like trance just by watching TV, listening to news or countless other well designed distractions to keep us from our true humanity. It's easy to be seduced by the modern agenda. What's difficult, is unplugging from that and tuning in to you. Well, it's not exactly supported. It's not supported to say to a friend, "I'd rather go to the woods and learn, then go to the local bar and be social." Yes, we can immerse ourselves in books written by others, about all kinds of subject matters, but to journey to the interior crevices of the human soul requires time, energy, and space for truth and renewal. You will never know what you will find within the corridors of your mind, and your many realities of which you travel often.
Finding you is a lifetime journey. You'll want to surround yourself with other mindful explores, because the exploration is often reinforced by tribal members. Don't waste your time on convincing others of this truth, just know your joy and live in it. For joy doesn't need convincing. Joy is contagious, it's non-debatable. That's the beauty of that blissful state.
Keep this harmonious truth near you at all times, because others will try to take it away from you, not in a malicious way, but because it defies the modern tick tock philosophy. Reaching and discovering you, and finding you is a discipline, an art form, a sacred journey, a mystery unfolding. It is the mystical you. Take it seriously, take it gradually and receive its blessing, for it will show you the way.
