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Relationship Tune UP Time

It seems like a strange thing that we often spend more time and energy assuring that our cars are performing well than we do our relationships. So, it's a great time to tune in and tune up your relationship with your partner by exploring the world of communication.

Below is a communication game that can be played on a vacation, long road trip, or sitting around on a lazy, rainy day. You pick the setting. The idea is to open up dialogue, to fully allow your partner to share whatever he or she wants to in a supportive, safe, non-judgmental way. Often in our relationships we can get caught up in what roles we play, our daily tasks, our daily grind, that we often don't "see" the other person as a unique being of wander and delight with an essence of originality, soul, a person, in spite of their commitment and life with you, also has their own delicious path.

One person asks the question, and your partner answers. It is a great to learn where we love, what we feel attached to, what our fears and worries are, what we passionately seek, where we are in need of repair, and what beliefs and values we most carry in our hearts and minds.

  1. What drains your energy?

  2. What creates the greatest feeling of joy in your life?

  3. If you inherited $100,000 right now, how would you spend it?

  4. Pick 3 adjectives to describe yourself, and 3 for me

  5. If you chose to volunteer somewhere, where would it be and what would you do?

  6. What is the most challenging part of your job?

  7. What do you enjoy most about your work?

  8. Who was your first best friend? how old were you? What did you enjoy doing?

  9. What is your favorite physical activity (not sport necessarily)?

  10. How do you think others see your personality?

  11. What non-profit do you believe in supporting and why?

  12. What number one experience has changed your life the most? Why?

  13. What is one thing you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

  14. What teacher influenced you the most growing up?

  15. Who is your hero?

  16. Who believed in you most as a child?

  17. What makes you wince about how you are like your mother? Your father?

  18. What makes you smile about how you are like your mother? Your father?

  19. What is your biggest pet peeve about living in the united states?

  20. What is your biggest pet peeve about where you live now?

  21. What do you love most about where you live?

  22. What dreams have come true for you?

  23. What dreams have you given up on? or deemed unrealistic?

  24. What artistic desires would you like to manifest?

  25. What do you wish you were really good at?

  26. What’s something you have never done, but would like to try?

  27. What book has influenced your life the most?

  28. What is your favorite memory you have about us?

  29. What messages or myths about sex did you believe growing up?

  30. What are you most proud of in your life?

  31. What do you like about solitude?

  32. What do you like about being together?

  33. What scares you the most in life?

  34. When is a time that you had to show courage?

  35. What holds you back from taking a more daring adventure toward the life you want?

  36. What are some things you have always wanted me to say to you that I have not said?

  37. What is your idea of special time together?

  38. What is something in our history together that you thought was a big deal to you that I may have overlooked?

  39. Are there any old grudges that interfere with trust between us?

  40. What current events are really troubling you?

  41. Are you happy with how we spend money? What could you change?

  42. Of all your friends and relatives, whose life do you envy and why?

  43. Have you ever been able to recall a past life? Where do you think you lived before? Were we together?

  44. From your perspective what happens when you die?

  45. Have you ever imagined your own funeral?

  46. What do you like about our home, what do you dislike?

  47. For the two of us as a couple, what has been the hardest thing for you to face or have had to learn?

  48. What’s good about how we are living our life right now?

  49. What’s missing in our life together?

  50. If you could have dinner with one person from history who would it be and why?

  51. What is the greatest joy about being a parent? What is the most challenging?

  52. What’s the hardest part of living with me?

  53. When was the last time you felt inspired? What did you do?

  54. Have you ever seen a ghost, or experience something you couldn’t explain?

  55. Are there any ways you hold yourself back from being truly honest with me?

  56. If you were able to time travel what part of history holds interest to you? Or would you travel into the future?

  57. How do you want to age differently than your parents?

  58. How do you have fun?

  59. What are your 3 top personal values? Are you living them in the way you want?

  60. What are you three strengths in our relationship?

  61. Where do you think we need to grow as a couple?

  62. Do you think your life is too materialistic?

  63. What was one thing you were teased about as a child?

  64. What film have you cried at and what was it that touched you?

  65. What film have you laughed the most?

  66. What has been your favorite vacation?

  67. Do you feel like you stand up for the things you believe in?

  68. Do we have enough friends, or the kind of friends we both enjoy?

  69. Do you feel like you are waiting for something amazing to happen in life, or do you feel you make life happen?

  70. How have I changed your life?

  71. What is your favorite band, singer or song?

  72. Where do you feel the most misunderstood in our relationship?

  73. What are three things you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

  74. Do you feel like we explore life to the fullest? What can you imagine us doing differently?

  75. Have you ever been lost in the woods?

  76. What is the most terrifying experience you have encountered?

  77. Of all the different decisions we have made in our relationship, what is one that you felt that you compromised on because you thought that’s what I wanted?

  78. What is one area of your personal growth that you would like more support from me?

  79. What event has touched your life the most in a loving way?

  80. What event has touched your life in sad way?

  81. What leader do you admire and why?

  82. What situations seem to happen to you over and over, running into the same themes? (feeling rejected, being accused of something you didn’t do, being called upon as the spokesperson in every group)

  83. What synchronistic encounters have happened to you (seeing someone on the street you just thought about, seeing the same group of numbers over and over)? What meaning do they carry for you?

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