Well, that's a task for a lifetime! I'm going to start out by giving you a rationale for the agreements that you made during this incarnation. Keeping an open mind, let's figure that you chose your parents (I know, hard to believe), your occupation, geography and general financial or social status landscape. Beyond that, you would also choose to focus on soul patterns that have followed you from lifetime to lifetime. Let's say you struggle with finding the perfect job. You say to yourself, why can't I be happy at work, or in any job for that matter? why is it, when you look around, you see other bubbly people fond of their career choices, or they just seemed to have known since childhood what and who they wanted to become. For you, it's an endless sea of suffering going from job to job, hating it, and knowing you need to do it, well, for the money.
This idea of suffering is completely self imposed. You were never designed to create a path of suffering in any area of life. Remember, you were born from pure positive joy and contentment, and at birth, you certainly weren't thinking, "I'm not good enough, and life will be darn tough for me," You were enjoying giving and receiving oodles and volumes of love.
Along the way we develop programs of thought (that don't belong to us) and download them to our subconscious mind. We hit the play button and replay these programs throughout our lives. However, in addition to programs, we do walk around with a concept of suffering. For instance, you may suffer in relationships, with money, with your body, with food, with chemicals..it's all there. Suffering is the act of allowing something outside yourself to control your reality. You simply forget the you that is true for you, and you allow other ideas, people and circumstances to dictate your life.
Too break free from this, you can benefit from asking yourself a series of questions. One question to begin asking is, "how do I nourish my soul?" "How do I know what contentment and joy feel like?"
What does soul nourishment and self love feel like for you? Is it deep meditation, is it fueling yourself with healthy food, is it sticking to your plan in life, is it saying no when you don't want something and yes when you do, is it living and loving with an open heart? Think about all the ways you truly want to be, and let's begin the process of creating the real you.
For starters, make a list of any stuck points you are aware of. This can mean questions like, why does my body betray me? why can I never have enough money? How come the right relationship never happens for me? Am I always going to feel left out and separated from the group? Will I suffer from poor boy image, never feeling that I've got the right smarts to survive in the world?
After you have made an honest assessment of your suffering and how this suffering is holding you back from expansive experiences of deeper contentment within yourself, ask, "What have I learned from the patterns that have kept me stuck? What are the lessons each has taught me? Keep in mind these are patterns that have evolved within a framework from a conditioned mind, a mind that has paired suffering and loss with certain behaviors.
For example, if as a child you were seldom allowed out to play independently, what did the lesson of confinement teach you? Did you learn tolerance, patience, how to use your voice to get what you wanted? If you landed in a family in which love wasn't easily displayed, what lessons were created around the perception of lack of available love? Perhaps compassion, independence, trust? Typically, what ever has been held from us, is what we replicate throughout our lives, keeping us in a pattern of suffering, because we truly believe that's the way it is. This is why many people go through life manifesting the same themes, because they haven't understood the value of the lesson, and how to break free from the suffering.
After you have made your list, and reflected on the lessons learnt spend a few minutes with your eyes closed, taking a few deep breaths, and thanking these patterns for showing up in your life. For without the catalyst, you wouldn't have had the opportunity to move past these stuck points. It's also a valuable way to begin to understand that you don't have to live with suffering, it's completely a shroud that prevents your true awakening and freedom.
As you free yourself from the restraints of suffering, you also free those who you may have claimed to be the supplier of the suffering. As you breathe release those people or situations that you have been blaming for your stuck soul patterns. Most of these individuals have been serving as teachers and co-creators of the main events in your life. They are not the cause, per se, of your soul blocks, but are the participants in the soul drama you were here to learn, and then to free yourself from.
Most of the time the things that we perceive to be holding us back, are the very same things that underscore our life purpose. Within the sufferings are the seeds of what you are most likely here to do. Remember that!
An exercise that will further help you is to imagine that you are standing in front of 5 people that have passed before you. Imagine that you are standing in a circle of these 5, it could be parents, grandparents, animals, children, whomever resonates with you. Now ask your self the question, what did I learn from each encounter, what lesson was valuable to my soul growth? Really sit with this a bit.
Let your soul tell you, take some deep breaths, allow the feeling to bubble up in you and really recognize each lesson within each encounter. Maybe you learned courage, or letting go, or acceptance, or strength, or patience. Each person taught you something.
Now, let go for a minute of the people who have passed. You are going to enter an elevator where you push the button that says "cosmos." Push this button and allow your higher self to ascend upward and outward. Enjoy the feeling of going up, past the clouds, past any veils, and go up.
When you feel like you reached your upward ascension, push the button that says "ready."
Ready to meet your soul guides and loved ones in person? Walk out of the cosmic elevator and down a long hallway. At the end of the hallway turn right into a courtyard of flowers, pathways, and a fountain of bubbling water. At the end of the pathway are a few benches and seats. Take a seat.
As you sit reflect on what you have learned about your lessons from all those who have passed before you. As you think of them, they appear at the fountain's edge one by one. Each embraces you, and you let go of anything that has been holding you back, and you thank them for being amazing teachers of lessons along your journey.
The circumstance itself is irrelevant. It doesn't matter if your connection was one of abuse, of abandonment, or ridicule, or loss...it doesn't matter. What matters are the lessons you have learned to support your soul journey.
The next step is to come back into the room in which you are sitting, and ask yourself where do I still suffer? Where do I beat myself up daily? Now, ask the question, what would it take for me to move my self imposed suffering (there is no one to blame here), toward a feeling of contentment. One by one go down your list and really tune in to what would it take?
Would I have to stop telling my drama story to new people? Would I have to stop engaging in complaining with my best friend? Would I have to seek solitude for my own fulfillment? Would I have to speak up when I know my heart is speaking?
There are many subtle and profound ways you can shift. Yes, one by one, you will do this with a bit more positive momentum.
It's your life, really it is